WOUNDED SPIRIT

I don’t doubt the people who turn to crime or prostitution. There comes a time in your life where one and one doesn’t make two. The bills are piling up and the old mutual loan consultants have befriended you. Now that’s not a nice feeling. Your responsibilities get added on and you become more and more unreliable to commitments.

You start looking for part time jobs just to stay afloat but there are none; those that are available are asking for a joining fee that you yourself are in need of to buy bread. Then you decide to tell God to make a plan but it seems like God isn’t moving on your behalf. You remind him of Jeremiah 33vs 3 “call upon me and I will answer’, but he still doesn’t budge. You start listening to gospel music hoping to ease your heart but the problems don’t change.

Have you ever scrolled down your phone and realised that none of those people can help you. You already know who they will call after they drop the call and have pretended to sympathize. Then you ask yourself why you. 

The next believer will tell you that it’s because your stronger than most and God doesn’t give you more than you can carry. Truth of the matter is life shouldn’t be so painful and lonely. Life shouldn’t burden you when you have the skills and drive to take it on but not granted the opportunity to shine. Yes life is not fair, I for one am a person of faith and God knows if church wasn’t all I know, I would have long thrown in the towel. But my inner self tells me I’m blessed to be alive in the mist of it all.

I’m tired of strategizing, I’m tired of job hunting, I’m tired of being homeless, I’m really tired of being burdened by my forefathers mistakes, but most of all, I’m tired of black tax.

Nevertheless tonight I’ll go back to the book of James and read through the three kinds of faith, maybe I’m just talking the talk and not walking the walk – INTELLECTUAL FAITH.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;

try me and know my anxieties;

"And see if there is any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting."

                                                                                Psalms 139 vs 23-24