DECEITFUL AFFAIR

Crushed like ice,

Like twenty tons have been thrown on my soul,

"I cheated on you with my wife"

You spoke those words that emitted through your vocal cords like venom,

A snake you were.

Disappointment; a sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations. But is it still disappointment when you keep losing the same game the same way. eight years ago I met myself a ripe Sotho man. He treated me like I was his last breath, taught me how to love. He’s still the foundation of my relationship expectations believe it or not. I was supposed to go to his place during the holidays, told my family I was leaving in two days’ time. I was so excited already planned out my night outfit. Then I received a call from his so called wife. The pain was worse than the night I lost my virginity. I couldn’t even mend my heart for I couldn’t understand how he could have married when his life revolved around mine. Eight years later I find out my current soul mate is married, again a call from a random women. For the first time in all my heartbreaks, I didn’t have the energy to cry over this one. I just laughed and decided to sleep this one off.

I’m not sure if I attract married men, or I’m just cursed. But I can’t shake the feeling of how people can be as selfish as to waste years of your time knowing very well they have no intention to commit. I mean why I would bother myself with someone’s husband when I’ve already been fucked so much by karma, beats me. There are so many women who are willing to date married men, why date those you know will leave if they find out. 

You deceived, I believed

Your arms were so warm,

Now the only warmth I feel

Is that of my blood

Spilling from my soul

As my life swings carelessly.

Like a pendulum

Back and forth

Higher and higher

But going nowhere.

Right now I’m so pissed, too pissed to waste my time listening to your “why you didn’t tell me” excuse. So dear current ex-lover, it was over the moment your wife called me. I’m very far from being bitter but one thing is for sure, I wouldn’t want to be the wife. I for one don’t have the energy to be calling women my man cheat with, my pride and class doesn’t allow me.

You cheated on me with your wife.

I want to write, scream and shout,

But I'm sitting her with this doubt,

I hate you for what you've done,

But I love you for what you've helped me become,

A strong woman who will not put her foot down.